Few Constraints of Conscious

Bloodless

It's so shocking to me watching others go through life without missing a beat. Everyday a new series of tasks, new and old. I miss beats pretty regularly and do so without feeling down about it.

"Oh, I forgot to wash the dishes! Oh, I forgot to put product X, Y or Z in my hair! Oh, I left a little shampoo in my hair!"

They roll of my back pretty easily, though I don't hold up to the expected standards of the average human I still feel a sense of pride of hitting 70% of the beats. Hell, 45% some days.

Even that neutrality is a genuine failure on my end, I think a functioning human- at least one with a place in society, would feel a grand sense of shame. Those beats, no matter how internal, are worn very clearly and others interact with me on the maligned understanding that I'm ashamed.

I think it's an internal nature of all fully functioning humans to work to maintain society (or at least the appearances of one); in an attempt to maintain this aesthetic they tend to subconsciously view these missed beats as a moral evil.

I maintain my right to write like this about nothing. Reread this, you'll notice that I wrote nothing. No thing.