Lonely
Been pretty stressed lately.
I get confused a lot about why people are such wild drivers. Speeding to get where they want to go or not wearing their seatbelt because they're desperate to seem cool, why those people will joke about being okay with dying when you bring it up but then genuinely panic under other circumstances. This is hyper specific but I've seen it a few times actually. The worst is someone I know at a bit of a distance who made a joke about accepting death when I told them to wear their seatbelt, right? But then a bit later there was a shooting between our neighbors and someone else while they were at our house and they had a panic attack. Like, crying and struggling to breath. I realized then that they were just drawing from an empty well- wildly stupid.
"I'm immortal"
That's the average American's belief. "I'm the main character, that's why I see the world out of my eyes and not yours" "It wouldn't happen to me!" this is what they feel, even if they never think it. Deep in their subconscious they draw on these beliefs for leverage to do whatever they want confidently. I've seen a few shootouts in my life and they don't panic me anymore, a shootout between two unrelated people is far more survivable to me than driving on these fucking roads. So why would someone who scoffs at death cower at the face of gunfire? Guns = Death, put that in their well and they'll start drawing it up rather than solicistic beliefs.
I hate cars. I hate driving. I hate guns. I hate Republicans. I hate democrats too, yeah, they at least keep their sieg heils inside their homes.
The average American doesn't just fill their heart with apathy and ignorance but they indulge in it like calorie-heavy food or wine or something.
Like, us getting hunted down and fucked over isn't a hypothetical future event. It's happening. Just not to white people, yet. To have my trans friend say like "Everything will be fine. He's all talk". No he's not. I can't even afford anything right now. I'm getting erased from government documents, having my rights stripped and getting targeted by rhetoric that's raising violence against me already. That's not nothing. Even if I'm wrong about potential escalation that's still something. And the fucking ICE raids are real too. "Everything's okay, things won't escalate to the point that anyone'll be harmed" people are already being harmed! NOW! IN REAL LIFE RIGHT NOW! Special police squads are breaking into places to detain the unwanteds and they've called me unwanted! Is it seriously because they're a different race that I can't care? That I'm not allowed to? What the fuck is going on and why am I alone? What can I even do?
Sorry to everyone for being a white faggot, it turns out we really are the worst most scum sucking stupid motherfuckers. We suffered so much to come where we are but we can't suffer or fret anymore. Let's just stop fighting and assume everything will be okay. There was never an AIDs crisis. Let's forget what everyone did to give us what we have today. Let's all just hold hands and give up. Seriously, if your heart is so dull and your brain is so barren that you act without regard to your history or those around then go fuck yourself, people can change or grow but nows the time to do it and the time's running out. I won't forgive you if you change after everything is over. If I'm there to see it.
"You're too online" I'm not on Twitter right now. I used to go on there every now and then for Aigis pictures, I don't even know my account's name. I don't use Tumblr or Reddit. I just saw this tweet while I was looking up stuff related to this topic today. I'm talking about real life, if this where just the internet then I'd be mostly unbothered. Fuck this individual by the way, I don't care that they're probably deeply good-hearted but simply too vastly ignorant to act coherent when engaging with complicated topics, straight up fuck them.